Wednesday, March 14, 2012

So I Took a Pregnancy Test...

I took a pregnancy test last night.

It all started a while ago when I shared symptoms that my joints were hurting and that I was sleeping a lot.  The first diagnosis from everyone was that I am pregnant. 
I brushed off everyone’s comments about pregnancy, knowing I wasn’t.  But then a few weekends ago we were at my mother in law’s (MIL for short) perfectly spick and span welcoming home.  TLC was playing a marathon of “I Didn’t Know I was Pregnant.” I was laughing until they cast out the fishing pole and set the hook on me then reeled me in episode after episode.  In passing, I always thought to myself: how in the world could they have no idea?!?!? I challenge you to watch a show…you’d be surprised. 

Ever since I left my marathon of drooling over watching IDKIWP, little things would make me think twice of my assurance that there was no possible way I could be pregnant.  Things kept popping up.  Here’s the laundry list: sore feet, sensitive to my old perfume, headaches, sleeplessness, overly tired, sore muscles, random cravings, overly emotional….and on.  So that little birdy planted in my head and it began to foster the questioning thoughts clear up to the point that I finally stopped at Rite Aid and bought a test. It took me 20 minutes to pick one…those things are expensive, and there are so many options. I felt so overwhelmed, like the boxes of Pee Sticks were coming alive!
This isn’t the way I wanted my first time peeing on a prego stick to be.  I pictured being totally stoked and smiling back at my hubby like this:

 
Or this:

Pregnancy is the one thing in my life I’ve had full control over, and up until now, I’ve been successful.  Now that’s not to say that I don’t want offspring…
Whenever the age old question “What do you want to be when you grow up?” was asked to me as a kid, my response always had a constant: “I want to be a mommy!”  of course it also included realistic goals like ‘an astrophysicist so I can live on the  moon!’ I’m sure I had pronunciation difficulties, but that’s beside the point and ‘a rocket ship builder!’ or ‘A mathematician.’ I also wanted to be a doctor, or a lawyer, or anyone who wore a suit and brought home the thick pepper crusted bacon.  A teacher was nestled in there at times as well…when I pictured my life with prince charming living in a castle.  I’d for sure need something to occupy my time while he was off slaying dragons, right?
So back to the story, I’ve set my life in motion and I’m incredibly happy with where I’m at.  There were bumps along the road (not baby bumps) and because of the challenges I faced as a kid and young adult, I have not only the appreciation for my husband, but also an understanding of what it takes to work hard every day.  I’ve built a model in my head of what it should look like before I bring a mini Lindsay into the world.  Trust me, I know it’s not going to be easy, especially if I get blessed with a kid with half the cunning and conniving maliciousness to create smiles that I had as a child. My plan includes:
  • A Husband: Check!
  • A home: Check!
  • A loving and fully communicative relationship: mostly check!
  • What they call a ‘nest egg’: check in Trevor’s name…room for improvement in my name
  • A supportive family: check, check, check
  • And most importantly, a plan for how our relationship will blossom and grow inside and outside of our family/children life.
We are almost ready, and if it weren't for the 8 weddings we will be attending across the country this year, we'd probably have started by now.
Karla: you can blame our friends' weddings on the lack of grandchildren! ;)  
I see a lot of relationships fail and I believe that at the root of every successful relationship is effective communication, and a life outside of the kid’s life.  Currently, we’ve established a weekly date night.  The only rules of date night are:
1. We must leave the house. 
2.  We cannot talk about the [future] kids. 
3. We cannot talk about work as long as we are still employed by the same company.
Pretty straight forward rules, don’t you agree? Seems easy on the surface, but even without a kid or even a dog, we haven’t been holding ourselves to our date nights every single week.  I feel confident that once that’s established, we’ll be ready and eager to start our family.  Another thing I heard recently came from Bre.  She said she wasn’t sure if she was ready for Trevor and I to have kids.  When I pressed her, she responded because she doesn’t want to give up Lindsay time and that she still enjoys all of our sports activities.  Immediately I thought, well duh, we wont give that stuff up!  That’s what makes couples fall out of love…  stopping all of the things that they did BEFORE kids.  Trevor and I are really active and enjoy a lot of outings.  Now cool you’re your assumptions before you go thinkin’ I’m a fool!  I understand that the frequency in which we are involved in nightly activities will adjust.  However, we will not give up sports or games or date nights.  We will simply take our kids with us.  If you’re asking yourself how?  Ask yourself how not?  Tasks are only as hard as you allow them to be.
Trevor’s highschool buddy Nick married an amazing woman, Livia.  They have the most beautiful baby girl, Stella and another on the way.  Stella is still a toddler and has been to more countries than I have in my 27 years!  They don’t stop their lives for kids…they fit their children into their lives. I’m sure they’ll admit it isn’t easy, but it’s completely worth it when you see the satisfying smiles fill their faces.
Trevor said that one of his fondest memories as a kid was just climbing in and out of his parents/grandparents car all day as they ran errands, met people, and did every day tasks/activities.
We’ll of course need the support of our friends, family, and neighbors.  I’m counting on my MIL to jump on the chance to spend time with our little ones.  Hoepfully my mom can travel from Arizona at times, and we have the best neighbors that would beg to take the kid(s) off our hands so that we can enjoy some good old Trevor + Lindsay time.  Who knows, maybe we’ll even carve our names into a tree! <3
P.S. if you’re waiting to find out if I’m pregnant or not, see below:

Cheers to babies in 2013!!!